What Hurts The Most

Wow, I really don't know where to start, everything just makes me sad and cry. Within this past year, I've come to a realization that good-byes are bitter sweet. When we say goodbye, it hurts so much, but every goodbye eventually leads to a hello somewhere down the road. My best friend just told me that she would be leaving next month and going back to Puerto Rico. When she told me, it was like getting hurt real bad. When she told me, I didn't feel anything, it took a couple of minutes for me to be like whoa, wait, what? Soon after my head began to thump with a headache and I felt the tears starting to weld up in my eyes. I sat down and just couldn't think of anything, I didn't know what to do with myself. A little while after, every memory I have with her flashed by in my head, and all the future hopes I had of making more memories flashed by. I decided the only way to ease my pain was to write about it. After finding a song that seemed to fit as close as possible to how I felt, I just blasted it and here I am. The tears were heavy as they dropped from my eyes, and I felt alone. The tears have stopped now, but that just temporary. I know this pain is a pain that I feel and will never leave me, it will sneak up on me and I'll cry about it, so here's a letter to you.

Dear Mio,

Wow, who would have thought that 2 and a half years later(2011), here's where we'd be. We've must have pondered this quite a few times, but here it is again. It honestly never occurred to me when I first met you, or from the few times that we talked would our acquaintance blossom into a friendship that I'll carry and remember for the rest of my life. Within these past 2 years and a half, we've spent seasons together,shared holidays, families, clothes, food, laughs, knowledge, a language, memories,secrets,nerves, ha even beds. We've made our own inside jokes. Who could ask for more in a best friend. I use to think that because we've been friends for so long, that a lot of me had rubbed off on you, but a lot of you has rubbed off on me, and I know you have because if you didn't it wouldn't hurt this much to say good bye to you. You've been there for me through the good and bad, happy or sad, nervous or chill, goofy and just normal, cold and hot, raining and sunny and you've accepted me for me. I've grown to love you and there's no greater love that can compare. I'm thinking about my favorite memory of you or of us and I don't have one cause there's so many. There's the haunted house, the Santa train, going to the beach, the fest ( ho bag), shopping, dancing/playing wii, dancing to "I want candy",going on our no homo dates ( valentines day dates) making my silly videos...gosh there's just so many. Funny thing is, you've gone away before, and it was still sad to say goodbye but this time its different. I guess its cause I know instead of being a couple of bus rides awhile, you'll be 2 connection flights away. I wish I had magical powers so I could rid you have everything bad and wrong that has happened, but I can't. I just know what has happened, good and bad will effect a tomorrow, a next week, a next month, a year from now...I just hope that what ever happens after this is for the best and I can see you again soon! Words can't express how much I'll miss you, but I know you feel it, and that's what matters. School will be a lot more lonely with you gone, the familiar sounds of "aye nena" and "wuacala" will ring in my ear's memory, and the feeling of your loving hug will be left engraved onto my soul. So with that said, goodbye best friend, I look forward to seeing you again, running to you and hugging you and saying hello. Thank you for everything, whether I've said it or covered it in this letter, you're amazing! I will miss you sooooo much! Don't forget me :)

Love you with all my heart,
Your best friend....Jackie

ps. This song is for you "What Hurts the Most" - Rascal Flatts