Mars in retrograde???

Today is just one of those days where you kind of wished you could have just stayed in bed sleeping or playing with your dsi. This morning didnt start out completely bad, it was ok. I woke up tired and feet still sore from last night's performance. I was in some bit of a time crunch cause I needed to get my things together for school and for a sleep over later at my friends house. I asked my brother to drop me off at school and of course he gave me shit. I get to school, went to practice and everything went fine. I went into my voice lessons still feeling the sleep in my eyes, but I came in with a mind set that said "I'm tired but I'm just going to sing the best I can and see what happens". My songs went pretty well, surprisingly since I was so tired...BUT then my duet partner came, which is no big deal cause I love her, but IDK I guess everything that could have gone wrong, did go wrong. In an attempt to help me with my song, my voice teacher made some changes and OMG! it felt like they didnt help at all! You ever have one of those days where you spent like weeks and even the night before practicing something and you did it right the whole time, but then this time you go and do it and you just mess up...yea well that happened. Every attempt of singing the changed music just kept getting worse, and what made it even more discouraging was that my duet partner *whom even though, I LOVE TO DEATH! she's a couple years younger than me and college music wise, not as experienced as myself* was able to do it like nothing. At that point, I was singing at the full force of frustration and anger that I almost blew my voice out. YIKES! I think it became obvious to both my voice teacher *who told me she would not take an "I can't for an answer"* and my duet partner that I was getting really upset.Dito my poor duet partner took a couple steps from me and I can see something like a forced smile from my voice teacher as a way of just calming me down....I guess you don't wanna to see Hulk mad??? After that, my lesson had ended and I went into a practice room, to see if I could sing the new changes...but I could feel the frustration,anger and tears making my face red and hot. So I grabbed my things, plugged my headphones in my ears and tried jamming out to some Marc Anthony...no luck. I sat outside the Fine Arts building by the parking garage while trying to compose myself. Quite a few people walked past me, but I didn't want anyone seeing me cry, so I pulled my hood over my face and let the wind blow my hair around. Funny enough, a friend I use to write with in the magazine @ school walked past me and was like ..."Jackie?" She said that when she was coming down from the garage she saw me but didn't know it was me, but knew who ever it was sitting like that looked sad....ha, so much for hiding it right? I told her what happened and she of course told me to text her if I needed it...that was nice of her. I told her maybe I'd hit her up later. While this was all happening, I was texting a friend, whom so far has shown me he's pretty cool. This friend...he's seen tons of places, experienced so much, and has this discipline that most cannot say they've had but he's still there. :) It makes me happy :) He calmed me down a little bit, made me smile and reminded me of who I am and why....there he goes again. :) But he said something very interesting that I've never thought of he said "Me + positive thinking = Me taking over the world". It makes me tear up just thinking of it. Those are some really strong words and I think what really gets me is that it's so true. I'm not sure if this is something he knew already or learned while off in some exotic foreign land, but wherever it came from, I'm glad he said it. So the 2nd time around of singing the duet didn't go too bad. I was expecting worse. So it looks like it may happen...I'm hoping by Monday everything is fine...this weekend is just going to be a blur of music. Ugh BUT! like what 3 more weeks of school left? I'm geeked! Cause I wanna get my hair cut and styled, I want to take a fun singing class and dance class, re-arrange my room, go to the beach and tan, enjoy summer and maybe go to Florida and go to a baseball game. I'm in need of some serious "me" time. Ahhhhhh * sighs a happy sigh* I feel better! :) If you're reading this, I'm sorry I'm sucha yo-yo. My moods change just as fast as my ipod does on shuffle, but thank you for staying with me, being there for me, and just pushing through it with me. It means a lot to me :)