Dear Brother,
It seems like time has passed us by because it is now winter and I can't remember the last time I hugged you. However, what time doesn't know is, while yes it has passed us, we have become strong since. You and I have something that I didn't know would be here so soon. I knew it would come, but I just didn't know when. While I am glad its here, I am also a little sad to know you and I aren't together to celebrate it. By "it" I mean our brother/sister relationship.However, I do know that as a family, we are still in the thick of the storm. It's not as thick now as it has been, but as each day passes, the storm thins out and I just know that one day it won't be able to thin out any more because it will be gone. And when that day happens, the sun will shine and you will be home again. As I said before, it hurts to know there are days spent without you, but everyday without you, is one more day closer to being with you.
You know it's funny, there's a saying I've heard so many times as I was a teenager, but I never really understood it until now. Throughout the years, I use to think of which side I stood and which side was better. Many people who had come to their own understanding of the saying would tell me that their side was better.I use to go back and forth on it, but I think I've finally picked a side. The saying is " Some see the glass as half full or half empty." I think I am one that sees the glass as half full, and I am content with that. For me, to hear something is half empty, it just sounds bad to me, as a loss. But with something half full, there's something positive about it, something to gain. So I see all of this as a learning experience, a personal reason to educate others, as a reminder to live our lives with more awareness, and to just educate ourselves on as much as we can on whatever.Therefore making the glass half full. I suppose that its just the optimistic nature in me, but if one where to let negativity consume their mind, then what kind of life would that be?
I have to admit, since the first night without you, I've had you picture as my screen saver, and it has not changed since. And to tell you the truth, I don't get tired of looking at your face and your smile every time I turn on my screen name or log myself off. Your picture reminds me of a day that had a good ending, a day I will never forget. Of course mom and I got into an argument that day, I realized that from here on out, everything I did got me to where I was, which was walking across that stage to get my high school diploma. High school wasn't easy that's for sure, well looking back on the work, it was. But the growing up that comes with high school wasn't. I felt so proud though, I raised my hand in the air and I knew this was just the beginning of my life. I graduated with friends and I spent the day with my family, people who love me not matter what mistake I've made. And that brings me to my next point.
No matter what mistake you have made in life, your family loves you more than anything. While we hope that you will listen to our warnings and to what we say, we know that may not always be the case all the time. But I do hope that considering what's going on, you really do consider what you will do and just really analyze everything before you act and make the right choice. You are a lot smarter than you think yourself to be and a lot stronger too! So don't forget that.
I also wanted to say, when I look at you, I see a different person. Someone who has learned from their mistakes and is humbled by them. I see a young man so full of ambition, love and aspiration. You have done a complete turn about my love, and I AM PROUD OF YOU! I can see only good and amazing things to come from you, so please keep your head up little brother!
Lastly, I want to leave you with a status I put on my fb
"I just want to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY LITTLE BROTHER! :) You're not so little anymore, because in all actuality, you are taller and stronger than me. however you will always be my little brother. I just want you to know that even through all of our fights and arguments, even when you scare me and I dislike that, I wouldn't ask for another brother.I miss you and love you terribly. I hope God blesses you with the wisdom, understanding, strength, perseverance, and better health you may not have had last year. That you realize your family and friends love you so very much and you are awesome. Happy birthday and love you so much, your sister! ♥ Happy 21st braazsha!"
Love Always,
Your Sister
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