It is 9:40am Monday Morning...and while I should be getting ready, I felt like I just had to blog. I am so overwhelmed! I've had a family situation since May, which is just not letting go and the thought of it seems to bounce in my mind every now and then, but when I don't think about it, I know it's still there. I've told some teachers about it and they kind of give me this little pat on the back and say "we all have problems, sorry you're going through a tough one, but just kind of get over it". Well they may not say that exactly like that, but it comes across to me that way, and after hearing that I kind of feel bad for letting those thoughts take over me. So I began to really focus on myself, and prioritize my time better, and plan things out,keep myself busy. And while I love the feeling of accomplishment and just being able to say I did it, I realize I'm leaving no time for my physical and mental well being. I already dropped my big ensemble class in order to give time to my family situation, and I decided to keep my private lessons, you know as something for me. But at the time, I just feel like it's too much, I make time to dedicate to my singing for class, but it just doesn't feel like it's enough. And I feel like when I go to class, I am wasting my teacher's time because I'm not as prepared as she needs me to be and I'm a little disappointed in myself because of that, but I know that my time wasn't used in vain. Given everything that's going on, everything I'm trying to manage, I'm doing the best I can. So today I think I'm going to tell my teacher, I'm sorry but this is just a bad time for me, and I really need to focus on other things, but thank you for your support. I am going to use today for me and just relax....I need it.
Excited to relax
p.s. I am not super religious, but I do believe in God, a power beyond me. I know you would not give me anything that I couldn't handle and I am doing my best to stay strong and positive, but I feel like I can't do this on my own. Please give me the patience, understanding, strength and right guidance to keep myself healthy mentally and physically, as well as my family and friends. Thank You
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