Ughhhhhhhhh, I think I should start by saying OMG THIS FREAKIN SUCKS! TODAY IS CRAP! THINGS JUST SEEMS BE GOING ASS BACKWARDS!
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Mmmmmm ok, I think I'm ok now. You ever just feel like nothing fits? I'm trying to find a song to fit my mood to help cool down this mood, but all I got is "All Falls Down" - Kanye West, thanks for trying Kanye. But anyways this blog is going to be about everything that just seems to be bothering me
1. School
------------> So last semester I managed to be an active member in 3 organizations while balancing 7 classes and life. Surprisingly I pulled it all off! I had 3 A's, 3 B's and 1 C and raised up my GPA. I came into the fall semester thinking, I CAN DO THIS! I now have 6 classes and active in 1 org. This semester started off very promising and good. Now....it feels like everything is just falling apart. I find myself not wanting to go to certain classes, pushing some of those classes' homework til the last minute. Idk. I think I dedicate myself to my music classes more than anything just cause I'm right there ( being accepted into the Department of Music) and the rest of my classes are like neh whatever. But I am trying...trying to be on time to class, to pay attention, to study correctly according to me, pass tests and overall trying to learn something from these classes while enjoying them. It feels like a ridiculous balancing act and like the game sorry, like as soon as I move up 2 spaces, something bumps me back to start. Idk what's wrong with me. I spend more time in the Library studying and doing homework than anything. I was able to do all of this in high school and I've gotten better at doing all of this in college. However, I still find myself struggling to tread in the water of life.
2. Money
----------> Well I was suppose to go to Puerto Rico this winter for X-mas and New Years, but the money I got back from school (which is what I was going to use to pay for my ticket) was used for rent. Which at first kind of pissed me off cause I had no idea that the majority of that money was going to be used, but hey.....gotta have a roof over my head right? So I've let go of the idea of finally enjoying myself on a sandy beach on la isla del encanto while its a slushy,blistery, below 0 holiday season in Chicago. But now it just feels like I got every bill in the world to pay and there's just no enjoying or using a little bit of the money I make to enjoy myself. And it's like everyone close to me is hurting for money, my parents, my best friend. Ugh
I just feel like I need more than 24 hours in a day to do what ever I need to do AND get enough sleep.
BUT! I do thank God for everything in my life
A home with a roof and heat and running water
Food
The wellness of my family and friends
Good friends
Good memories
Good opportunities
Good and fun teachers who really care
Music
An awesome boyfriend who makes me laugh all the time and answers his phone even when he's sleeping
And the wellness of myself
Some how I just need to freeze time and figure out things and work around it. Please help me and wish me well....
Oh! I forgot to mention I woke up this morning and it was JUST CRAPPY OUT! Raining and windy and all that crap. I don't know about you but the weather affects me, like how I am when I wake up in the morning. So since today was just crappy, I woke up crappy, and had a crappy morning, BUT hopefully it won't be a crappy day.
Thanks for hearing me out
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